North Korean super health and energy drink

The magic elixir will make you smarter, prevent geriatric diseases and protect your skin from wrinkles. Side-effects? Lighter skin.

Taking a break from building nuclear bombs, sending folks off to the gulags and threatening war “at any minute” with South Korea, North Korea announced Friday that it has developed a super energy drink that will boost your brain cells, make you smarter, prevent brain infarction and protect your aging skin from wrinkles and unsightly black spots. What’s more, there are no side-effects except that for some folks with a bit of melanin, it will lighten their complexion. But that could be construed as a good thing.

According to medial reports, the super anti-oxidation drink contains 60 kinds of “microelements” extracted from more than 30 species of plants. The official KCNA claimed the magic elixir had attracted “much interest from Chinese, German and other businessmen” at a trade fair in Pyongyang last month.

“It, with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells,” KCNA said, according to the BBC.

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